150 Things I Must NOT Do At Hogwarts!
by Magicgirl29
Summary: There was so many crazy rules in the Hogwarts rule book and Fred and George are the cause. Here are the things they should never have done and what other students should NEVER think of doing!
1. Chapter 1

150 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts.

Chapter 1: "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Woods's name."

"Alright good game everyone! Off to the changing rooms with you!" Oliver called out as his team mates flew down to the ground and took off into their tent. Fred and George shared a knowing look and it was with a mischievous glint in their eyes, that they landed and walked to their captain.

"Alright splinters?" Fred bellowed as he approached. Oliver turned to face them, arms crossed and eyes glaring.

"Heard it" Fred cursed to himself. George smirked and stepped forward.

"It's a bit cold out here-" Said George as he faked a shiver. "-wanna go to the fire _Wood_?" He and Fred snickered. Oliver sighed.

"Heard it" He said again. The twins' shared disbelieving looks.

"What joke haven't you heard?" Asked Fred, adding stress to the question. Oliver thought long and hard.

"Hmmm... I haven't heard... No, I've heard them all." He said finally. Fred and George walked to the tents, shaking their heads and admitting defeat. They really had heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: I will not introduce paintball, to Peeves!

Fred and George sprinted into the hall, covered head to toe in multiple colours. They gave off the impression of two walking rainbows. When everyone in the great hall saw them they burst out laughing. The twins ran up to their younger brother Ron and sister Ginny, breathing heavily.

"What happened to you?" Asked Ginny, half raising to her feet. She tried to touch their arms, comfortingly, though they winced at her touch.

"Don't!" Warned Fred.

"It hurts!" Moaned George. Ron and Ginny looked to each other, confused. Harry and Hermione, who were sat half way down the table, rushed up to them.

"Why does it hurt?" Asked Ron, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Hermione... Remember when you told us about muggle 'paintball'" Said George, putting the air quotes around the words. She nodded slowly. "Well... Er... We er-"

"-Sort of, taught Peeves how to play it" Said Fred, awkwardly. Hermione and Harry both jumped to their feet and simultaneously screamed.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Immediately Peeves burst into the room holding a paintball gun. He started firing and the hall filled with screams, Peeves laughed loudly as various teachers and students took cover under tables and ran out of the room. Fred and George met under the table and their minds connected to the same thought and together they said.

"We shouldn't have taught Peeves how to play paintball!" And they screamed as Peeves got them again!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I will not steal Gryffindor's sword and use it to petrol the hallways at night!

Fred and George walked side by side in the corridors at 11:00pm, Fred held Gryffindor's sword, which he stole from Dumbledore's office. George walked to the end of the corridor quickly and stifled a chuckle. Fred looked over to his twin and George ran back and whispered to Fred.

"Percy's coming around the corner!" Fred grinned, madly. He and George tip toed to the end of the corridor, waiting for Percy. When he eventually came around the corner, George grabbed him and held him still; Percy fought back and started screaming and flailing his arms madly. "Oh! Bad boy! Shouting in the corridors, sound's like someone needs to be taught a lessons, Fred." Fred smiled and nodded, he raised the sword to Percy's stomach- not close enough to hurt him, but close enough for him to feel it- Percy stiffened, instantly.

"I do think you're right, dear brother!" Laughed Fred as he watched Percy's frightened expression.

"Fred, George! Don't!" The twins laughed. Fred lowered the sword and George released his brother. Suddenly Percy grabbed the sword from Fred and raised it high. He pointed it to the twins and they leaned back, to avoid being stabbed in the neck. "Dumbledore's office. Walk, now!" The twins turned around and was forced to keep walking as the sword's point was sharp on their backs.

"Well, that didn't work" Muttered Fred. George shot a look at his twin.

"I told you it wouldn't!" Percy gave the twins a little push with the sword and they started to speed up a little more. Percy was hot on their heels.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: I will not use Umbridge's Blood Quill to write "I told you I was hardcore!" 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" George asked Fred, as he looked up nervously at his grinning twin.

"Of course! Your own personal... What the muggles call... Tattoo!" George was unconvinced. He flipped the blood quill over and over in between his fingers and let the words swim through his mind. "Go on George! Lee already did this and said it doesn't even hurt that much!" George nodded but none the less he put the quill to the parchment and began to write.

"_I told you I was hardcore!" _

"Well?" Asked Fred. Suddenly George's hand started to shake and so did he. George's eyes went wide as he observed the sight. His face scrunched up in pain as the words carved into his hand and his blood became the ink. Fred's eyes went wide with terror; he didn't think _that _would happen! "George? George!" George gasped as the words finished. "Are you alright?"

"Wicked!" George muttered as he stared at his hand. Fred laughed along with him. George turned to face his twin as he rubbed the back of his hand. "Bloody hurt like hell though!"

"Sorry" Said Fred, casually.

"Oh, it's alright" He said dropping the paper. He stood up, pushed Fred in the seat and handed him the blood quill. "Because you're going to do it too!" Fred cursed under his breath, that was smooth. Well done George!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when I am sent to Dumbledore's office.

"Weasleys! Professor Dumbledore's office immediately!" Screamed Snape sharply as he tried to clear up the exploded love potion the twins created. Fred and George laughed as they watched Snape; eventually they did as told and left the dreary dungeon.

"Hey George" Said Fred, thoughtfully.

"Yes Fred" He replied.

"D'you remember that old muggle story dad brought home when Ginny started Hogwarts?" He asked, turning to face George as he spoke.

"The... thing about the girl with blonde hair who lived in a bloody tower?" He asked.

"No. The one about the girl that went to the wizard"

"...Oh the wizard of OZ?"

"Yeah that's it!" He replied, enthusiastically. "And d'you remember that one song? We're off to see the wizard?" George laughed.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" George said, slyly.

"Dear brother I think I am!" The boys linked arms and did not even try to suppress a grin. And together in perfect unison they sung.

"_We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of __**Hogwarts **__we hear he is a wi-" _

"FREDERICK AND GEORGE WEASLEY WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU DOING?" McGonagall was standing, red faced at the end of the corridor. "I do not know what you have been sent for this time, but I assure you that such behaviour will NOT be tolerated!" McGonagall approached and pulled the boys towards the stone gargoyle that was the entrance to Dumbledore's office.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room!" when I see them fight.

"But Hermione please!" Ron moaned as he followed Hermione into the Gryffindor common room.

"Ronald I said no!" She barked back, furiously.

"All I'm asking you is to do is the beginning... And the middle... And the end!" Ron replied. Fred and George were grinning from their seats at the back of the room, the common room was quite crowded at the minute, though, it wasn't very loud.

"I said no!"

"Please?"

"NO!"

"'Mione!"

"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" George called out, over the noise. Ron's ears went bright red, Hermione blushed deeply and everyone in the room burst out laughing, eventually Harry started to laugh and it was that same night that everyone heard Ron and Harry arguing quite loudly in their dorm.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Telling Draco to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

Draco was making snide remarks at Ron and Harry, the twins- who were sat nearby- glared at the blonde haired wizard, it was when Draco next spoke that the twins were driven over the edge.

"Maybe if you had parents you wouldn't have to knock about with the Weasels!" Fred and George jumped from their seats and Fred called out.

"Oi Malfoy!" Draco turned towards them, an amused grin plastered over his snake-like face. "Make like a ferret-"

"-And bounce!" George continued, everyone around them laughed and Draco glared at them and turned to Snape and told him what the twins had said.

"Weasleys!" The twins looked to Snape. "Fifty points from Gryffindor! For inappropriate comments!" The boys groaned and dropped back into their seats.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: I will not hit on Hermione when Ron is in the same room. 

Fred and George walked into the portrait hole to see Ron and Hermione sat on opposite sides of the sofa, Hermione reading and Ron going through a deck of wizard cards. The twins grinned and Fred said.

"Go ahead George, you know what we gotta do here" George smirked and approached the sofa with Fred directly behind him.

"What're you guys want?"Ron asked suspiciously.

"Lovely to see you too brother dear" Fred replied, he sat on the chair beside the sofa and George plopped himself down between Ron and Hermione, he draped his arm around the Hermione's shoulders and smirked to himself, forcing Hermione to look up and raise an eyebrow at him.

"Hey gorgeous!" He beamed at her. Ron's face went pale as he watched. "Anyone tell you how hot you are?" Hermione laughed a little as she assumed he was joking. Ron was beside himself as he watched, anger pulsing through his veins.

"Not funny George" She told him.

"Hmm... I like a girl that can tell me and Fred apart" He wiggled his eyebrow and to really throw Ron he planted a gentle kiss upon Hermione's rosy cheeks. Ron flipped.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He screeched.

"What wrong Ron?" Fred asked, innocently.

"Leave her alone!" He barked.

"But I can't... She is just soooo _hot!" _Ron raised his wand and wailed.

"_Levicorpus!" _Fred burst out laughing as he watched George dangle in the air and Ron and Hermione laugh and walk out of the portrait hole. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: I must not lock Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint in one room just to see what happens.

"I am telling you George, you better hand over my broom right now!" Oliver roared as he followed George through the second floor corridor.

"Relax. Fred and I left it in there." He said, pointing into an empty classroom. Oliver raised an eyebrow and walked into the room, slowly. George closed the door quickly. "Oi! Open this door now!" He yelled by banging on the door. George sighed and put a silencing charm on the door. He looked up the corridor and muttered.

"C'mon Fred." As if on cue Fred ran around the corner with Marcus Flint chasing madly after him. Though he still needed to catch up. Fred panted and said.

"I told him he was a hairy troll and shoved him into some Hufflepuff. You got the cloak?" George nodded and threw it over Fred who- in turn- moved behind George and ducked so the cloak would cover him. "We're lucky Harry lent us this... Or I am!" Just then Flint came around the corner, spotted George and grabbed his jumper and pulled his fist back.

"Whoa! If you're looking for Fred, I'm George!" He said in defence.

"Where's the other clone?" He growled. George jerked his thumb at the classroom door. Flint released George and barged into the room. George quickly slammed the door shut, locked it and removed the silencing charm. Fred threw off the cloak and shoved it into his backpack.

"What're you doing in here Wood?" Roared Marcus.

"Me? Looking for my broom. What're you doing here Flint?" Oliver shot back. "The trolls' bathroom is on the third floor!" The twins stifled their laughs but were shocked when they heard fighting beyond the door. "GET OFF ME!" Oliver yelled.

"SHUT IT WOOD!" Marcus yelled back.

"Fred? George?" The twins whirled around to see Penelope and Percy, standing there looking confused. "What's going on?" The twins looked to each other when another bang was heard.

"What's going on in there?" Penelope asked. Percy approached and studied the twin's guilty faces and turned his wand on the door.

"_Alohomora!" _Oliver and Marcus fell out, both of them sporting bust lips and both of them glared and turned to the twins, Marcus was ready to pounce but Penelope said.

"Have you two been fighting?"

"Wow you're clever!" Spat Marcus. Penelope glared.

"10 points from Slytherin and Gryffindor!" Marcus glared and walked away, muttering threats as he went. Oliver pushed past the twins, he now had his broom.

"Did you two lock them in there?" Percy asked. The twins stuttered but could not think up a lie because Percy could always see right through it. "10 points from Gryffindor."

"What?" They said in unison.

"Each!" Percy added.

"Percy it's your house!" Fred yelled.

"Yes and unfortunately, you two are in it. Come on Penny." The two prefects walked away.

"Git!" The twins said together.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: There is not a fifth house and I am not its founder.

The first years gathered in the hall and after the sorting hat's song and McGonagall and Dumbledore's speeches, the first student approached the stool.

"Hmmm... Clever, very good, yes, yes. Brave and adventurous. Trouble maker! I see; well there is nothing for it... Better be... WEASLEYTWINS!" The young boy looked at the hat confused. The teachers jumped from their seats and looked to the Gryffindor table to see Fred and George high five each other and burst into hysterical laughter.

"WEASLEYS!" Bellowed Snape, raising to his feet and walking to the Gryffindor table and pulling the boys to their feet. There was an amused twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as the twins were taken to an early detention.

"Frederick and George Weasley the founders of the house: Weasleytwins. Hmm... I do wonder how they did that."

Meanwhile the boy walked up to Professor McGonagall and whispered.

"Do I follow those two if I'm in that house?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: I will not pretend to be my twin just to skip a date with his girlfriend.

"No way Fred!" George said walking ahead of his twin in the boys' dormitory.

"Please! Angelina's downstairs and she's getting far too clingy, I can't be bothered to day!" Fred begged as George dropped down onto the bed and slackened his tie. "C'mon she'll kill me if I don't meet her."

"So it's ok if she kills me?" George asked with an half amused half serious tone to in his voice. "Because believe me if she finds out it's me, you can organise my funeral right now!" Fred frowned at him.

"And if you don't do this for me I'll... I'll tell Flint it was you that made his broom burst into flames!" George stood up and glared dangerously at his twin, who was slightly shorter than him but only by an inch.

"You wouldn't!" George challenged.

"I would." Fred confirmed.

"So either way, I'm going to die?" George asked, Fred smiled a little.

"Pretty much." George frowned for a second but went downstairs. "Hey Angie!" Angelina turned around and frowned for a moment. "How's it going babe?" She could see right through the act but for now pretended she couldn't.

"Oh nothing, there's just this guy who thinks I'm an idiot, I think I should get him back." She turned to smile at him a little. George was none the wiser and half expected it to be a Slytherin that doubted her Quidditch skills.

"Well you should!" George encouraged.

"You think?" She asked.

"Defiantly!" George replied back.

"Alright," She whipped out her wand and waved it in front of George, who at this moment found himself lying with his back on the floor, stars dancing in front of his eyes. She had hexed him. "Never underestimate me, George, now then... Where's Fred, I have a- urm- special present for him." Feeling like his brother deserved some of this he pointed up the staircase and listened carefully.

"_Angie! What're you doing here? Wait what are you- ARRR!" _George laughed as he knew Angelina has got him, and by the sounds of it, got him good. This would hopefully teach Fred a lesson... Probably not.


End file.
